Over the last two months, so many people have asked us, “How are you keeping it together? I would be losing it!”
Trust me, between the two of us, we have those moments at least a couple of times a day on a small scale. Occurrences like forgetting my work I.D. at home, getting stuck in light traffic, or running out of milk seem to send an unreasonably high amount of stress through my veins these days.
On my end, I’m a big believer in deep breaths and positive visualization, otherwise I would’ve probably had a few large scale mental/emotional breakdowns over the years. Maybe I have, who knows. 😉 Life has definitely been a whirlwind with many milestone events over the last few years and that has probably conditioned us to take this on with a more balanced and resilient approach.
The positive visualization allows me to see the house that we have always wanted for us and our family. Additionally, I can visualize the potential realized in a house that sat on the market for almost a year. Isn’t there something so inherently thrilling about rescuing and reinventing something? Our current stressful situation is unique in regards to the potential end result. It allows for a looming sense of anticipation and vision of an end goal. These feelings and thoughts somehow have the ability to numb the present situation of chaos and anxiety.
I will admit to loving a challenge and setting big goals. I have always been a girl on a mission. Previous missions include: reaching a high object on the coffee table, catching a butterfly, catching 20 butterflies in one day, getting a boyfriend (ugh), getting perfect grades as a student, various athletic endeavors, selecting the perfect college, deciding on the major that was “meant” for me, etc. My mind does not ever seem to completely shut off. In fact, Patrick will often tease about my ability to overthink any situation to the point of exhaustion. In the end, the overthinking often comes full circle and ultimately forces me to settle on the very first idea considered. Was this wasted thought, or a necessary process? I have discovered it is most likely the latter. I would not be convinced or happy with any result unless I was confident that all avenues had been explored. This explains my quest of trying on 100+ wedding dresses with a final selection of the 5th one I tried on (and the first one I pinned to my inspiration board).
OK, enough with the philosophy. Did I overthink that? Sigh.
So how does all this inner-analysis have anything to do with Saving Sarles? Everything. We now have the opportunity to really study our lives and figure out how we want to live. So much of our house and contents were ruined that we are essentially being handed a blank slate and the equitable money to start over. Do we need to replace everything the way it was? Or can we thoughtfully purge our belongings down to what we need and love? This would give us the ability to re-assign some of the money elsewhere to paying off some debt and creating a more comfortable daily living situation. We also have the opportunity to study the floor plan of our home and consider how we envision living on a daily basis. We now have an almost 8 month old on the cusp of walking – it’s insane and life-altering! How can our home better serve growing children and their needs, not just ours? There is something very attractive about living a simpler life. Our desire to slow down and enjoy the little things in life may finally have it’s day.
These are questions that my over-analyzing mind has pondered endlessly for the last couple of months. The same questions that Patrick has pondered with a practical mind for the appropriate and normal amount of time. And I am honestly grateful for the opportunity. In the end, we will now have a home that is so much closer to being perfect for us.
So for now, we will deal with the endless stream of emails and phone calls from our public adjuster, insurance agency, and remediation company regarding the progress of our insurance claim and the mold that is still viciously spreading throughout our house. The positive visualization acknowledges how much we will get to purge, change, and create.
We will relax and make the most out of our temporary apartment which we found out yesterday has been extended through at least the end of August. The positive visualization sees pool parties and private gym time. The negative visualization laments our son celebrating his first birthday in a place that isn’t home, and our dog potentially having a mental breakdown with the amount of car beeps and people he hears outside the door on a daily basis.
We will have weekly meetings with the architect and contractor, which for some people (including Patrick) may be a hassle. For me, it’s basically doing design work for us, the client!
Are we more high strung these days? Yes. Do we have days of self pity? Yes. We are also aware of how lucky we are in the big picture.
First and foremost, we are so thankful to have each other. We truly are a team and rely on each other to lift the other up in times of negativity and anxiety. We are thankful for a beautiful little boy who has been so easy and flexible throughout the turbulence. He brings countless smiles and laughs, which is more than enough to trounce the most irritated mood. We are thankful for beyond helpful and concerned friends and family who we can rely on for anything.
We are thankful to have had an insurance policy that will be fully covering the loss.
Well, that is actually pending – positive visualization, people!